Children learn to whine as they form full sentences or even earlier. While some kids outgrow this habit quickly, others may continue whining into their first or second-grade years, or even longer. Many parents ask their children to stop whining or express annoyance when they do so, but often, it doesn’t deter the behavior, especially when they’re in a bad mood, tired, hungry, or unwell.

While some kids outgrow this habit quickly, others may continue whining into their first or second-grade years, or even longer.

 

While toddlers may struggle to control their whining, by the age of 3-4, children can express the same words without the whiny tone. There’s a simple trick for parents to use that can eliminate whining as a habit. Many parents are aware of this technique, but they often fail when they attempt it because they don’t adhere to the essential conditions necessary for changing this whining habit. Let’s take a look:

Whenever your child speaks in a whiny voice, while smiling (to convey that you’re not angry), say to them, “Sweetheart, but your voice sounds whiny, and my ears don’t work well when you whine. Can you please say that again in a cool kid’s voice?”

If the child repeats their whine, put your hand to your ear and say, still smiling, “Mom/Dad knows you’re saying something, but my ears aren’t working. Can you use your big kid voice?”

If the child changes their tone to be less pouty, say to them, “Now Mom/Dad can hear you better. Thank you for using your big kid voice,” and respond to them.

There’s a simple trick for parents to use that can eliminate whining as a habit.

If after the first two requests your child still whines, shrug and turn away or ignore them until they express themselves without whining.

If they continue to cry, say to them, “I want to hear your voice, but my ears need help. They need you to use the big boy/girl voice.” If the child slightly improves their tone or seems to be making an effort, go back to step no. 3. The goal is to gradually shape the behavior so that any initial effort on their part is acknowledged.

If after the first two requests your child still whines, shrug and turn away or ignore them until they express themselves without whining.

For this technique to work effectively, as a parent, you must respond in this manner and do so consistently until the habit changes. The more consistent you are, the quicker the whining habit will change. Reinforce your child’s efforts with simple praise (like in step 3).

The calmer and less emotional you are when responding, the easier it is for the child to focus on the message you’re trying to convey. If they see whining as a way to get a ‘reaction,’ it will reinforce the bad habit, and the child may develop into a spoiled child.

The calmer and less emotional you are when responding, the easier it is for the child to focus on the message you’re trying to convey

By following these steps consistently and with patience, parents can effectively help their children overcome the habit of whining, leading to better communication and a more pleasant environment for everyone involved. Still feel overwhelmed after these strategies, you can asked our certified psychologist.