Lying to Yourself. Lots of People Do It, You Do It Too?

“I don’t regret not finishing my college degree” or “I’m confident I’m healthy even though I don’t exercise.” You may have heard other people say things that you know are not true. However, have you realized that you also say things that you don’t do or don’t believe in? For many people, denying can become a habit to the point that we are not aware of it because it is deeply rooted within ourselves. In fact, sometimes the lies we tell ourselves become the lies we tell others.

Why do we lie to ourselves? Or even say it to others? Here are some usual causes:

• The feeling of fear of loss, rejection, conflict, and even fear of facing changes can be the trigger.
• To defend ourselves from negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, sadness, fear, feeling incapable, shame, or guilt.
• Selfishness can also be the motivation; it’s often difficult to admit, but we all have negative thoughts within ourselves.
• To protect bad habits that keep repeating.

  

Of course, all lies to ourselves will have consequences, what are they?

• We will live in a false reality.
• We will identify ourselves in the wrong way; because of the mask we use to protect ourselves from reality.
• Self-awareness development will be hindered because of our insensitivity towards ourselves and the environment around us.
• It can prevent us from having deep relationships with others, even with our loved ones.
• Stored disappointment and internal anger that is not expressed properly.

  

So, let’s reduce or even eliminate the habit of lying to ourselves:

• You can try to recognize the defensive or denial habits that you usually do.
• Be honest with your loved ones.
• Avoid saying things that are not true, even if it doesn’t harm anyone.
• Make sure your words align with what’s in your mind and heart.

  

If you still have difficulty understanding the lies you tell yourself, contact a trusted psychologist to help you understand yourself better.