Hi, Anindya, many people seem to be easy to make decisions, even if the decisions they make are wrong, they take it easy. I often afraid if I’m wrong, I will let down others. Sometimes I take a long time to decide what to wear tomorrow. Anindya, how to make it easier to make small decisions, let alone big?
(Iva, 31 years old, supervisor)
Hi Iva, Every day humans are always faced with making dozens even hundreds of small decisions. I want to use this, I’m going to buy this, I want to watch this movie, I want to delete this email, and there’s so much more. For many people it may be that making this decision is not difficult, but for others making big and small decisions could be not an easy thing. Perhaps for you this can be very torturous, constantly feeling indecisive to the point of guessing whether or not the decision has been taken or even regretting the decision.
The ability to make good decisions is indeed an important part of life. Especially in these modern times which increasingly provide choices, from the large number of food menus in restaurants to more serious things such as the decision to get married. Maybe some of the things below can be used for your input to help you learn to make decisions:
- Accept that you can’t own or get it all. Decisions force us to rule out other possibilities, small or large. There will be paths you don’t take, careers you don’t choose, experiences you probably won’t have. You then imagine if only you did or chose A, B or C. Not really why if you saw the “if only..” scenario if it really did, but don’t get to your whole thinking. Let the one that has passed, pass. Your life is the present, do what you want to do right now. Not yesterday or last year.
- Longer thought doesn’t mean better. Indeed, it is often good to think about things in depth, especially for making difficult decisions. But also do not overdo it. If done excessively, you will only be more confused and doubtful.
- Do not delay decisions without time limits. You have to set a time to make a decision. It’s possible that you still need additional information. You can consult your partner, the person closest to you or wait until you are less stressed out about making a decision. However, it is important to realize, lest the decision you should have made was actually made by someone else (“you didn’t give news either, so I did it with another friend”), the situation (“the registration application you went to was closed last week”) or because of your annoyance that it was difficult to make a decision so that it ended up making an impulsive decision (“ah yes never mind, I’ll just leave tomorrow”).
- Believe in your intuition. Intuition is your impressions, perceptions and inner voices that you may not fully understand. Intuition can be an important source of information. Do not ignore, but distinguish it from impulsiveness. Impulsiveness is the desire to do something so that the emotional needs of the moment can be met which often leads you to regret.
- Decisions in life sometimes won’t go as we expected; but that doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake. For example, you finally decided on a vacation and stayed in a 5-star hotel. Everything should go smoothly, arriving at the destination turns out that your child can’t stand the weather of the vacation spot. Instead, he became a cold and infected other family members. You feel stupid because you feel like you’re making the wrong decision. Actually, you didn’t make a mistake. Sometimes there are things that we can’t control happen. It’s only natural to be disappointed, but don’t blame yourself too hard.
If you still find it difficult to make various decisions in your life and that kind of situation keeps bothering you, immediately contact a psychologist who can help you understand your real problem.