The holidays are supposed to be an exciting and relaxing time for many. Nevertheless, numerous people also find it difficult to enjoy the holidays because of the situation they are facing. One of them is when you are divorced or separated from your partner. The holiday season is a challenge in itself, everyone seems to be vacationing with a family that seems to be intact.
There are clients of mine experiencing this. Of course, while maintaining their privacy, now they become stronger people accepting their life. One of the things they can find during a counseling session is their ability to keep trying to find positive little things, alone or with their children/ family/ friends.
Here are some interesting tips I found with my clients when it comes to dealing with vacations when divorced. It might be your input:
Don’t stick to the traditions of the average person. The family holiday season is often a time of feeling very lonely and embarrassing especially at the beginning of a divorce. There are habits that you do together every year when you are still a family or part of your partner’s extended family. The easiest initial way is to avoid all of that rather than acting strongly. But don’t make avoiding behavior a habit!
Create a new routine. Yeahhh, avoidance is not a way you can use it for the long term. Try to create your own way to actively enjoy the holidays. Especially if your children, for example, are on vacation with your ex-partner. Separation or divorce is your time to let go of the past and focus on the present. Once trying may not necessarily be right for you, don’t hesitate to keep trying. Seek and find comfort within yourself!
Share the holidays with others. We may feel lonely at some point of the separation period we are living. You feel strange and uncomfortable with solitude. If you want to take a deeper look at yourself, we’ve never been alone in this world. Try to feel and look around us! You can try inviting old friends to come to your house, or you can help your elderly neighbor cook them a lunch. One step further, you can also volunteer during your own vacation period if there are no children. For example, in nursing homes, orphanages for disabled children or infant and shelters for abandoned animals. Or maybe, you can find your own way to help others while enjoying your own holiday!